Via Community News Service, a University of Vermont journalism internship, in partnership with Vermont Public.
America is in the midst of a “loneliness epidemic,” and it’s affecting our health. So across the country, people are finding meaningful ways to connect.
Among them is the Ladies Social Group, an Essex-based group dedicated to bringing women together for support and connection, especially for those navigating major life changes.
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On a recent Tuesday night, the Ladies Social Group gathered to play Vermont Town Trivia.
(What town is home to the remains of a baby beluga whale? Answer: Charlotte.)
There are eight women here, sitting around folding tables and eating croissants in a conference room in Essex Junction. For all of them, it’s their first time at the Ladies Social Group. And the person who made it all happen is Celeste Hartwell.
Hartwell founded the Ladies Social Group in 2012, and since then, she’s been bringing women together for potlucks, craft nights and even a book club called the “Book Club for Busy Women.”
“I think that connection is probably the biggest issue in our country in this moment,” Hartwell said. “Getting out of the house and meeting out with other people — as uncomfortable as it can be, it’s so good for the soul, whether you’re introverted or not.”
Hartwell understands what it’s like being new to an unfamiliar city. After moving from the midwest to Vermont, and then around different parts of Vermont, she found it hard to make friends. A lot of people she met already had well-established friend groups. And Vermont is small, so it was harder for her to find her people.
“My joke always was, if you live in Chicago and you want to find people who, say, knit on a boat, you’re going to be able to find people who knit on a boat, right? Just because there’s so many different Meetup groups there,” Hartwell said.
Hartwell started getting involved in Vermont social groups through Meetup.com.
“I was running this group, and a woman said, ‘You know, we should have a group where women come together and drink wine.’ And I was like, ‘We should!’ And so the next day, the Ladies Social Group was born.
Despite its origin story, the Ladies Social Group doesn’t have alcohol at their monthly events anymore. Instead, they focus on activities that will facilitate strong bonds among women looking for a supportive community, especially during big life changes like going through a divorce, becoming an empty-nester, or simply being new to town. The group’s motto is, “Come for friends, find sisters.”
Mollie Lannen, a friend of Hartwell’s, came to trivia night hoping to meet new friends.
“It’s hard as an adult to go out and meet people,” Lannen said. “So any time you can find a cool event where you might be able to find like-minded people to connect with, that’s always a good thing in my book.”
The women at trivia night bonded over their shared interests in trivia, Vermont history and musician Noah Kahan. And after ten rounds of trivia, the game ended in a tie. Both teams earned a sweet prize: candy and the honorary title of being a “certified Vermonter.”
A week later, the group’s monthly book club, “The Book Club for Busy Women,” met to talk about “The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free” by Melissa Urban. Here, they read one chapter a month, instead of one book a month. The club members’ discussions were lively, and they showed respect for one another’s perspectives.
Joyce Sebian has been coming to the book club for a year.
“I’ve become good friends with a couple of folks and then, everybody that’s here, we get in these great conversations,” Sebian said. “So those are nice opportunities to build relationships, too. And I love that Celeste is so purposeful and intentional about supporting new people coming in, as well as building on existing relationships here.”
The book club meets in person, and Hartwell also hosts a virtual version where women from all over the country attend.
“We have women coming from all over: Minneapolis, Texas, Connecticut, Manhattan, New Jersey, rural Vermont,” she said.
While the Ladies Social Group is open and inviting, Hartwell acknowledges that stepping into new social situations can be intimidating. And not every event may be the right fit for every person.
“If you go to one particular Meetup group or one particular event for a specific Meetup group, it may not be the same dynamic the next time. And the people who show up are always going to be different.”
So, she says, it’s OK to keep trying.
“A good facilitator and a good group is always going to make a new person feel welcome.”